hehe rock is cool. I love how they think up these cool guitar riffs and lay over cool bass lines. So simple, yet awesome sounding. I love that stuff.

I walked home for two hours today. Sucks, yet i knew it was God's dicipline. I'm still being humbled.

I got some fear-or-failure-and-messing-up problem. I think it has to do with homeschool stuff. Like around my friends and peers (like same age people) I worry that I'll do something totally wrong and screw things up. But hey, God is good. I read in the Bible today Psalms 9 or something, and it reminded me to praise God. So whatever happens praise God!

But anyways, besides that i'm pretty excited for this week. Cool!

hahaha good concert today :D!! woo hoo. now im going to practice for auditions tomorrow.. hehe yahoo? haha yeaaahhh. whoa dude, so much stuff coming up this week!! WOAOAOAAAHHHH!!!

today was a good day. very busy but a very happy day! i worked out in the morning, dropped off a paper at school, went to work, went home, took my sister to church, helped prepare things for the encounter retreat, went to phunk, then went back to church. Phunk and church were awesome!!

At work today, I asked my boss for any good places to get a corsage. Then he and Sarah began an investigation on who i was going to prom with beause i wouldn't tell them -_-;;; they must have spent half and hour looking at school scheduals online, making a checklist of girls (AND GUYS), interrogating me etc etc etc.

i have gotten hella weird these past few days. Everything in life is kinda kicking my ass around. Siggghhhh, now that everyone else in my family is more cheery i seem to be slumping into grouchyness. Maybe its just a bad day.

lets see, i snapped at my sister many times because i thought she was acting like a baby. At work some mom spoke to me on how to teach the kids better... that always is a terrible feeling. and just a few moments ago i was arguing with my family about make up and my eyebrow. They are reaaaallllyyy against it. No one, and i mean NO ONE has a patch of scar on their eyebrow. a scar on the cheek even isnt so bad. But the cut on my eyebrow, it's not even a tolerable thin slice, its just a unsightly scar.

And then there is the problem of people finding out i use make up, if i do end up using it, and thinking that i'm a vain retard. Ahhhh why am i making such a big deal out of this? But siiiiiiiigh its so ugly. ohhh siiiiiiiiiiiigh.

Every end of the month things start falling apart somehow and I lash out from problems caused by school, home, and work. I end up acting like a pathetic idiot in front of people and end up feeling really bad, and begin apologizing again and again and again. maybe i shouldnt talk to anyone when things arent going well. I can't afford to let the piss of my anger affect others.

you know it sucks having part of your eyebrow gone. Im gonna eventually have to live with it or start using eyebrown makeup "/ its funny and not so funny at the same time.

God's permanent reminder of the consequences of disobediance.

im playing orchestra music that is crazy and interesting and challenging all at the same time. how fun, sort of. Ha ha hahaha.

If i ever become a wealthy man I will buy a suit as beautiful as that. it would look good on me
Pipe dream. siiigghhh. Am i destined to be a poor, chinese man who can't speak chinese?

so i got an acceptance letter from UC Davis. it was weird... like my mom said congrats and all, but i was really tired and im still not feeling so great about it. I'm just tired from a long day and walking home for like and hour. Hey, if i get into the conservatory i will be like chocolate-cake-milkshake-cool-whip happy!! But praise God, seriously, by his grace I was admitted to Davis.

I need to start looking for a corsage. no, i need to find a corsage.

we****ong (8:04:04 PM): so i bought a 6 freaking thouisand dollar guitar. . for 2500 . .
we****ong (8:04:09 PM): dusn't soudn like a 6 k guitar
Cl onetIm (8:04:10 PM): cool
Cl onetIm (8:04:19 PM): what does it sound like?
we****ong (8:04:26 PM): a 2k guitar

Whoa! What a savage haha.

So Ronell* lent me some rings today. Thanks!! Oh, and i told my teacher today that i'm switching teachers o_0 Pretty crazy.. but I think she took it well :) No more group music classes, praise God! I have enough violin as is, haha.

By the way, on the last post I said that chain stores seem "factory like" and make you look unoriginal. That can be mizz understood... That was a hastily made generalization, because there are a lot of ways to look different and nice *nods* And yes Mrs. Szabo, I am cutting my hair tuesday. Don't hurt me; I know you're reading this. It'll look ok. It'll take time to grow out but it'll still be ok. you are a wonderful, patient person right marie? Remember, after or during music school I can mentor your boy into finding the right instument!!

so i told you about eric at cell group right. i saw him at church today, and when i did, i heard him say to his friend andrew "Where's Tim?" And then he saw me!! Haha I love clicking with people... Seriously, it's a rare thing!! At cell we were talking about how we had a pool table, foosball, ping pong etc. and he was like "Your place isnt a church.. its like a game place. Like an arcade..." HAHAHA sooo funny.

listening... As one - mama

So i went to Valley Fair with k. possible to check out tuxedos. Chain stores.. haha seem so factory like!! It makes me feel like another brick on the wall, but hey thats not a bad thing. A nice tux is a nice tux. I just think that for girls, selecting a prom dress is much more exciting. Anyways, we ending up deciding to get some deal at tuxedoWH or eli thomas. You know, Possible is very excellent at these sort of smart things. Praise God, what a blessing!

There was this guy at cell today, he's a freshman at lynbrook named Eric. Haha we clicked like so fast.. that guys so cool. He's into basketball and was talking about the NCAA. I told him if I ever visited lynbrook i would say hi. That guy is cool.

Again, I ate way too much sugar today. Oh man this sucks. I so need to cut back. Starting in June I'll need a job to work during (then-will-be-ex) school hours. Please hook me up? I'll work anything that pays well as long as it's not burgers.

hi guys. tomorrow I'm going to try to tell my teacher im switching teachers. o man im not sure what to say. "/

there's this group called winds who dance hecka cool (japanese hip hop is different from american AND korean dance!!) haha its so cool. I rEALly dont like the way they sing though. it drives me crazy.

[P. Diddy]
Yeah!

[B.I.G.]
One

[P. Diddy]
As we procede to give you what you need!

[B.I.G.]
One...Two!

[P. Diddy]
It's all f---ed up now!

[50 Cent]
Yo!

[P. Diddy]
What the f--k yaw gonna do now?

TIM: SOUNDS SO RETARDED IN WRITING

dumb rappers xP So whats new.. it was reallllly hot today and i ate so much sugar.. my gracious its so bad!!! DARN IT MAN!! Sugar kills! I'm writing a paper on the harmful effects over consumption of the stuff does to you. Be smart and avoid sugary products, ok? that would make me a very happy candy bar.

im gonna be writing in this thing more because im starting to accept the death of my xanga. YEAH IT SUCKS. This journal sure rocks though. Haha I don't know why but when i write my xanga I start caring about my subscribers and comments.. all that fun junk (hey, it's junk but still fun, I'm sure of that!)

Mrs. Szabo, my friend Nicole says to cut the back and sides and trim the top, so... yeah she wins (heyyyy it's her PROM okay?). I'm cutting it at the end of the week (to provide "settle" time). Know any good salons? Am a failed project Mrs. Szabo? Please to not keep to the $30 fine. I need the money :(

I'll give you a prom picture :)

Many many lousy things happend today. BUT HEY, God's ways are not my ways. For every lousy thing, there were also many many blessings!!!

Lousyness: I got a C- on my first english assignment. I didn't do hw for music class. I sucked at rehearsal today. I acted very pathetic and miserable. I have a darn headache. I bonked my head too.

BLESSINGS!!!!!!: I made a KPOP cd for this guy in my Ajusted P.E. class that i volunteer at. His name is Angel (looks like a latino ben affleck). Hey, they offered me a job.. those guys! Angel is a blessing!! Something is wrong with his eyes, so pray for him. I had an interview with this Mexican man named Jose!! what an awsome guy. Pray for him too because he knocked his haed many years ago and now he can barely see. Jose is a blessing!!!! I got to talk with my trusty partner Kim Possible today!! She keeps on suggesting PINK prom outfits.. then says "just kidding." Kim, I guess that means u like the idea? For sure Kim is a great blessing! Then I took Daniel Zimardi near his car and he told me he was doing good. Daniel too is a blessing! My mom made me this sour lemon stuff to drink, what a blessing!

Somthin I should be stressin is the blessin instead of stressin on the mess 'n situations learn to play them and keep ya game face on wit out losing yo head, yea hooooo thas wut im saying (thas wut I'm saying).
Keep ya game face on (game face on)
learn to play em (learn to play em)
keep ya game face on (game face on)
get up an take em (get up get up and TAKE EM)

AHAHA AHAHA I AM GOING NUTS HERE!!! WOOOOOOOOOOO YEAH! I got the cutest BABY BLUE BEANIE TODAY!!!! Its like the most "cute" thing i have ever owned b4. well i think at least.

GoD oF WoNdEr5 (10:26:27 PM): or u can tell me about something interesting that's happening
Cl onetIm (10:26:59 PM): ok
Cl onetIm (10:27:08 PM): im listening to music
GoD oF WoNdEr5 (10:27:15 PM): anything interesting
Cl onetIm (10:27:19 PM): sinatra
Cl onetIm (10:27:22 PM): Usher - Burn
Cl onetIm (10:27:32 PM): i broke my drawer
Cl onetIm (10:27:43 PM): u remember how i said i was realigning it that one time
Cl onetIm (10:27:46 PM): well now its broken
GoD oF WoNdEr5 (10:27:53 PM): oh
GoD oF WoNdEr5 (10:27:56 PM): that sux
Cl onetIm (10:27:59 PM): its ok
GoD oF WoNdEr5 (10:28:00 PM): my drawers broke too

so i banged my head into a wall last night (it was dark) and now i got a big cut on my eyebrow!! >_O

IT's gonna scar.

It's God. He's humbling me. It's what i get for being a pretty bad person lately. So God, I thank you because I know this was done to save me from further troubles!


ULCA stuff:

Dear Timothy:


We have received your application for Fall Quarter 2004. However, admission decisions have not yet been made for our transfer applicants. We plan to begin notifying transfer applicants of our decisions starting in late April. Please check with us again around that time.

I'm cold. And I'm in the school library, on the floor with a lot of comptuers. Man, There's got to be like 100 dells in here.. and our school is going to Sac to complain about cutting funding?? OMGOSH we are the lowest ranking city college in the bay area and we are rolling in funding.. who can complain about this stuff. Well of course, the school is pretty ghetto and most students don't like paying twenty some dollars per unit.

I'm rambling.

But oh well, its cold in here... and besides I'm sure that you enjoy reading blogs.

So how is life, really? umm NO COMMENT. yeah its alright I guess. the fam is kinda going gadzooks now due to some highly unanticipated events. Hey, but we got God on our side.

Caleb's mom is my hair police. She says to grow it for like 3 months O_o!!! ill need to talk to my friend and see what she think i should do for prom... I mean i want her to be comfortable with the way the hair will look... even just for that one day!! Yeah, I'm on a roll here.

Praise God I have a job. So far I have been able to buy new shoes, a beanie, a pair of pants, food, and gifts. Wow... thats almost all clothes (bad? because all my old clothes still work). I've probably spent around $300 since the start of the school year. That's not too bad I guess. And I'm also able to afford in the future prom and partieal payment of a violin. PRAISE GOD FOR GIVING ME A JOB. After school in May I'm going to have to find more work, so if anyplace is hiring let me know. Maybe you can pick up an application for me. I need to keep earning money for that violin... and maybe someday I can buy a car. Pipe dream? Nawwww, definitely attainible. And then there's college, oh--damn tuition! Does God not like "damn"? I don't know. God please help me with tuition. I'm starting to feel kinda teary.. haha how funny! Hey on blogs I can conjure up any kind of emotion i want and you would never be able to tell what's real and not. Praise God, God is good. Late ya'll gangsters. Payce it.

i found out yesterday.. my school has its own REAL DANCE STUDIO!!!!

for a brief moment i remembered that and was so happy. I almost forgot how tough things are right now. I wanna check it out and schedual a time so i can dance..

MIRRORS. OMY.

more complications thrown into the mixed up family... WOW WHAT A LIFE.

yet i thank you God, cause ur ways are the best.

Say hello to craaazaaeeey. :) I have many things to write about that are totally unrelated. I could bore you with stuff on colleges.. but you can read that on ANY xanga. To sum it all up, I havent even been paying attention to this college business. So I guess it's good that it doesnt worry me.

My mom was telling me today how God places compicated situations in life as a "thorn in your side." Difficulites are created so that we turn and depend on God as well as stay humble. This is something that realllly applies to me. Honestly, I used to think that I had it made, pretty much (yeah, I'm a dummy huh). Socially, spiritually, and academically thing seemed to have been falling into place; I was happy as candy. but i realized that it was all provision from God, cuase he loves me. And when I failed to recognize that, God put in my life complications.

Now I'm come to depend on God more and recognize my incapabilities. For example, dealing with friends and family... it seems so complex and multifaceted... sometimes I really don't know what to do. I've now come to realize that depending on God is KEY... I mean I seriously am so clueless sometimes. But one thing I know is that God's plan is the best.

Anyways, church today was pretty good. I'm torn between going to Mongolia for a mission trip in August or music camp. Oh God, please help me. Please everyone pray for me.

so anywho, I'm doing stuff for the disabled student program at my school. I'm an assistant for their aquatics program. Hee hee its fun helping them exercise.

I also have a midterm tomorrow on Meican American culture. did you know... the Aztecs were one of the most glorious ancient civilizations before Spanish colonization? Those crazy Spaniards... in only a few hundred years the Mexica were slaughtered from 25 million to a little over 1 million. INSANE. And the Spaniards, in their zeal for "saving the souls" of the natives, used terrible means to superficially convert the indians to Cathocism. They would force water into an Indians mouth by kicking and standing on his stomach, filling the native's abdomen with water. Eventually the poor man would spew out water and blood. SPANIARDS.. YOU fReaAKs.

I want to buy a pool stick. Then i could play pool. but then of course, owning a pool stick would be sort of associating yourself with the pool playing crowd (and may not be a good thing you know). But then OF COURSE i could play pool, and that would be cool. But that would take a lot of time... hmmm. Then i wouldnt be able to dance as much. HEY i'm getting pretty DARN GOOD at dancing if i do say so myself. And at the school gym they have these nice big mirrors.. maybe i can talk with my boss at school and get to use a stereo or something and practice AT SCHOOL!!! ! oh man if i could actually do that that would be so awesome.. Yeah well i still have a long way to go to become like WOAHOMG good. heehee what fun!! better study now! payce over easy homies.