i have gotten hella weird these past few days. Everything in life is kinda kicking my ass around. Siggghhhh, now that everyone else in my family is more cheery i seem to be slumping into grouchyness. Maybe its just a bad day.

lets see, i snapped at my sister many times because i thought she was acting like a baby. At work some mom spoke to me on how to teach the kids better... that always is a terrible feeling. and just a few moments ago i was arguing with my family about make up and my eyebrow. They are reaaaallllyyy against it. No one, and i mean NO ONE has a patch of scar on their eyebrow. a scar on the cheek even isnt so bad. But the cut on my eyebrow, it's not even a tolerable thin slice, its just a unsightly scar.

And then there is the problem of people finding out i use make up, if i do end up using it, and thinking that i'm a vain retard. Ahhhh why am i making such a big deal out of this? But siiiiiiiigh its so ugly. ohhh siiiiiiiiiiiigh.

Every end of the month things start falling apart somehow and I lash out from problems caused by school, home, and work. I end up acting like a pathetic idiot in front of people and end up feeling really bad, and begin apologizing again and again and again. maybe i shouldnt talk to anyone when things arent going well. I can't afford to let the piss of my anger affect others.