thoughts on crying

I realized that I almost never cry anymore. Maybe that's why I often feel irratable and unhappy. Emotional tears in fact help facilitate hormonal and chemical balance in the body. So instead of crying, I resort to thinking and praying. I've given my life to the Lord, so I'll just have faith that God can accomplish whatever he wants through this.

Although God, I sure wouldn't mind being happier. But what have I not to be happy about? It's summer and I have time to spend with friends and play music. Yet I'm still searching for God... Where are you? I have faith in His promise that He is always with me, but there must be more to a life controlled by Christ. Is not Christ living through my very being? Then why do I feel like I'm searching for Him?

My future significant other sure is going to have to be patient. And have had chickenpox.