"A textbook once told me that dances are primitive social gatherings invented by a race called the humans where men pick up fine girls. I still don't understand why anyone could want to lift a girl who isn't in need of being rushed to the emergency room."

Writing the workshop... is very hard.

The end

I taught guitar yesterday for $40 an hour!! What an amazing accomplishment. I am relentless in my teaching, so students beware. Had to go over what a scale degree was, what is a tonic? What's a dominant? etc. Speaking of music, as most of you all realize, a vast majority of young Asians play classical instruments. Whenever the subject of classical music comes up, I make it into an educational oppertunity. Usually, my answers are 1) find a professional teacher 2) practice more 3) or why did you quit, why WHY?!? that's BAD. Additionally, I am always shocked at the lack of basic musical know-how young students have today. What are teachers thinking nowadays? Just this week, I was speaking to this 9th grader at church, and he didn't know the name of the piece he was playing for the next day's audition. How can you play a piece and not even know the name. One of my most basic goals as a teacher is to instill a bit of critical, music minded thinking.

I read something by MacArthur today saying how true regeneration does not require the understanding of all the detailed workings of repentance, revelation, etc. However, there must be true remorseful repentance, and there must be the willingness to prioritize and obey the LORD. More on lordship salvation (ruh oh, controversy) in my workshop. Don't tell anyone there is a "label." It's more of a Biblical salvation.

Today was an interesting day.

Today was also a very sad day. I re-realized how sinful I am. That made me very, very sad. It really makes me wonder... what do I have to do? What do I do to live a life somewhat worthy of being called a Christian?

And now I realize that I can't. In the end I am still unworthy of being called by Christ.... Yet I am. I guess that shows how awesome God's mercy is.

I wasn't able to attend the Crystalized Children's Choir thing. but really, thats ok.

Ling Liang conference is coming up!

New music arrived today in the mail. Hours of painful practice awaits me. Here is a great hymn for you to read, or sing. I'll be doing it on Sunday. It's actually, according to the internet, an ancient 8th century Irish hymn.

What has God been teaching me? Genesis, I guess. Something very surprising I read today and yesterday: Genesis 4
13Cain said to the LORD, "My punishment is greater than I can bear.[e] 14Behold, you have driven me today away from the ground, and from your face I shall be hidden. I shall be a fugitive and a wanderer on the earth, and whoever finds me will kill me." 15Then the LORD said to him, "Not so! If anyone kills Cain, vengeance shall be taken on him sevenfold." And the LORD put a mark on Cain, lest any who found him should attack him.

So Cain murders his brother, and God punishes Cain. Yet God also says that he will protect him, and anyone who kills Cain will be punished seven times more. Pretty interesting and confusing.

I've also read a good point in a book that using Christian terms without proper explaination can cause people to not care. I'll explain later.

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Be Thou my battle Shield, Sword for the fight;
Be Thou my Dignity, Thou my Delight;
Thou my soul’s Shelter, Thou my high Tower:
Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,

High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.
High King of Heaven, my victory won,
May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heaven’s Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.

Holy shite, I finished a year of school.

I was in a zombie like state today taking finals-it felt like the testing flew by in about an hour, when in reality it was nearly 6 hours straight of testing. Afterwards I played for a beutiful saxaphone masters recital. Just listening hlped me realize what music is all about. What is it all about? Part of what it is is what you make it to be. Feeling sad? Feeling happy? Nostaligic? Music will speak to you.

Today this korean girl asked me to lunch. I said no cuz i had to study. Plus I wanted to avoid any drama if anybody saw me eating with some girl. She's not very modest and has tatoos... wouldnt go well with friends and family. Not that that's the most important thing, just the more obvious.

Packing!! Home!! Tomorrow!!

Finals tomorrow. Interview for job today. Cool.

Why to people have bachelor parties? Isn't the celebration to be focused on your holy unification WITH your spouse-to-be? I just thought it was strange, since marriage after all is an act to glorify God. Should we infuse it with other worldy pleasures?

I don't think I would have a bachelor party. the whole point is that you and your pals are exclusive from the bride and have a guy party. Is this one of the final moments of freedom before entering the responsibilities of marriage, therefore you must have a slurge of fun? Seems like it deters from the purpose or honoring and glorifying God. Plus there's a whole issue of trust depending on the extent you exclude your lady from it all. Odd tradition in my opinion. I think I'd rather just spend time with the lady.

No offence to the Hu's and Au's. I know Mr. Au's party is totally innocent. Have a blessed wedding and party. Congratulations! I'm referring to the general understanding of bachelor parties as being debaucherous and raunchy. This is all just my opinon, and I know it must seem very conservative to most readers.

I took care of little kids today at church. One boy peed in his pants. My hand felt something wet on the carpet so I looked at the patch and it was darker than the surrounding area. I wasn't sure what it was so instinctivly/stupidly I smelled my hands. Twas urine. Nasty. So I asked around and some little one admitted that it was indeed he who had peed.

Another strange event:
This kid was wearing a blanket around his neck, like a cape.
I said "Why do you have a cape."
*silence*
Kid responded "I.. pretend to be, superman."
*Random woman nearby laughs*

There is this toddler toy that is a plastic cash register. You put in the coins, and depending on the buttons depressed, the coin will either come out the register on a tray or roll out the side as change. This one kid was litterally monopolizing the money... He would put the coin in, press the button, and shove his hand inside the tray to grab the coin before anyone else got a chance to see it. Inborn nature of greed in those young ones. A result of their depraved nature and their sinful state.

Read this: regards to the wife of whoredom here

Choinike7: but jess
Choinike7: love isn't easy
Choinike7: i mean its not like flowers and skipping all the time
Choinike7: any kind of relationship
Choinike7: friendship
Choinike7: anything
Choinike7: theres always going to be something
Choinike7: in whicn you will doubt and have to overcome
Choinike7: lol i sound like a preacher
Choinike7: the bible is you
Choinike7: you are the bible
Choinike7: o lord almight

Read this in one of the young Rol's kids profile.. What the s---? What is wrong with kids today. How come they are so messed up.

God will always love me more than any girl could love me. He shows more compassion, and mercy on my wicked being more than anyone else could. He loves me. More than any human person could love me. He appreicates me for who I am and whatever talents, abilities, or skills I have all come from Him.

I am so glad that Jesus loves me.

I am so glad he has forgiven me.

Lord, I am sorry for the times I break your heart through my disobedience. I truly am the wife of whoredom as shown in Hosea. Be patient with me, and teach me to be faithful and righteouss. Teach me to love and glorify you and daily put away my selfish desires.

Lord I love you.

In passing, I spoke with an older brother after service at Grace Church. These two people who were former members of our college group and got married the day before. The bride and groom were 23 years old. It got me thinking...

Marriage will come after financial independance, dating with purpose to marry (courtship, essentially)... Which all concerns me just a little bit. How do I meet women after college is over? Church? I suppose this is something I need to have faith that God will see through.

Obviously I have a lot of maturing to do, as well as any girls my age. yep, that is all. finals next week. Whew.

Congrats troy and marie on the new baby!
Congrats Leedah on getting a girlfriend.

AND RUH OH
more people read this than i realize.

So I went to banquet with this nice korean girl, and I realized afterwards: I look incredibly trashy in pictures next to nice koreans. Take a look at her Korean-mom likeness contrasting with my wacky hair, strange posture, and really pink tie. Even worse is that her hands are both in front of her while my arm is around her. Makes me look like I have problems. Oh well. I guess it's not all about appearance. She was a great date though and we had good talks about her sister, church, serving next year, and music history. I mentioned modern classical music, and she started talking about Bartok. I didn't care to correct her on what I was talking about. More pics on my xanga. Mind you I only posted the pics I'm not embarrassed to show.



EDIT: REDEEMED! Pic where i am not nasty.

I'm going to miss a lot of my friends from school. Like the guy who took the picture. His name is Wesley, one of the funniest persons I know. But in a great, natural way. He loves the Lord and cares about people.

Oh and I did it... one year down and no girlfriend. Just 3 more years left... pray that I will have strength.