So anyhow, I'm in the Ucla music library with nothing to do for 20 minutes. Quartet rehearsal was canceled because the girl who is playing second violin is feeling really sick. So anyhow. I don't know if I'm allowed to use these computers for fun... I wonder if anyone will stop me. Man. These keyboards are really loud. Typing as quietly as possible...

So anyhow yesterday was my birthday. People at grace always are so jokey. But for some reason the freshmen and sophs are into the whole "whose gonna get a girlfriend/boyfriend first." or "this sophs going is eligable." Stuff like that. Fasho, grace people are awesome. Very godly-people that would be able to sustain a healthy relationship through God's work. Still, I don't see myself getting a girlfriend for at least a few years. Well of course I can't see into the future, but still, it doesnt seem to interest me like it does for everybody else.

I've mentioned this before I think. throughout life, you will be attracted to ppl of the opposite sex. thats the way humans have been created (I won't deal with the whole homosexual discussion for now). Even when you're married, it's possible there will be times where you find other ppl attractive. It's the choices YOU MAKE that counts. Are you going to be unfaithful to your wife and ponder about the possibilities with another person? Or are you going to take that thought captive, because it puts itself againts God's purpose and plan? Will getting into a relationship in high school, junior high, or college be loving to you, the other person, and God? People don't think about this a lot. You have feelings but you need to make wise and Godly choices based on what your authority tells you (paresnt, pastor, bible, God). Hopefully you know where I'm coming from.

What else do you want to know. Hm not much else to type.

So last night Richard came back at around 2am while I was asleep and started playing CS. It woke me up and was keeping me awake and I was getting really angry. I kept on praying "God, don't let me loose it." So finally I popped up and almost lost it, but told him to stop in a round-about, irritated way. It wasn't explosive, but it was pretty hateful. So eventually after a few minutes I apologized for being T.O-ed, I figured he had a bad day. It was really hard to get the words out.

My mind was like "why should YOU say sorry. He should be the one that's sorry isntead of being mad because you told him to stop playing!" But I realized, I am most responisible of my own actions to God. I think God helped me realized Richard had a bad day... Even if he was wrong, I still need to respond in the right way. I will be more careful in the future of how I articulate my irritation.

So maybe a lesson to the masses can be learned from this. Apply your faith to your life. When things irritate you, when people offend you, or whatever, you still must be a light for Christ when you tell people to stop doing stuff and rebuke them.

so I'm watching "tomorrow never dies" the james bond movie. There is theis hilarious sequence after hilrious sequence. For example. At one point the scientist character goes "press the magic button and the jobs done," and then the guy who hired him just shoots him. And then in another sequence, mechelle yeoh goes "Hya!" then shoots some buttons and controls. The stuff shorts out and the ship their on stops. I thought that was funny at least.

oh man history sometimes I think is serious bull/shit. Forgive the language. We're learning about this Madrigal (it's an old song from the 1500s), and the one we were specifically speaking about was about a swan, dying 1000 times, crying, sadness, it was terrible. Anyways, basically it was a song about sexual orgasim. It was terrible. Why must I learn this garbage. WHO CARES.

Listening to Jay Chou. And I finished my essay for history which IMO kicks some butt.

So on friday my index finger of my left hand started to feel a little strange when I was practicing. At first I just thought "that's funny," but I soon found out it was pretty serious, because rubbing and pulling at the finger didn't do anything to the pain. It was a minor pain, but still... very scary, especially since both the second violin and violist in my quartet both have tendonitis now. I think that how you spell it.

So anyways, I cut practicing short on Friday, and took the weekend off of practicing. On friday there was a freshmen sleepover for Grace fellowship. It was so fun. Supposedly while I was asleep (I was the earliest to sleep, and one of the only ones who did before 7:30am!!!!!) the guys were talking about girls or somethign girly to that extent. They thought I was evesdropping, so they were trying to wake me up but I was totally knocked out. Later when I actually DID wake up, they thought i had been evesdropping. AHHAHAHA-whatever dude.

So today after maybe 2 and a half hours of practice, the pain in my finger is gone!! Praise God! My left hand is still a little tight, but there is no more pain, and that is great.

Raisin Bran... fiber = good for you. Over break I ate too much, but now I'm getting pretty skinny again, plus I'm able to work out at school.

I got a new hair cut, so i was working out today and I saw myself lifting some weights. I wasnt used to how I look now, and I was like "DANG you look like some kind of Marine [ready to be spat out on to some battlefield]." Hilarious.

Acts 19

Paul at Ephesus

¹It happened that while ^(A)Apollos was at ^(B)Corinth, Paul passed through the ^(C)upper country and came to ^(D)Ephesus, and found some disciples.

²He said to them, "^(E)Did you receive the Holy Spirit when you believed?" And they said to him, "No, ^(F)we have not even heard whether there is a Holy Spirit."

³And he said, "Into what then were you baptized?" And they said, "^(G)Into John's baptism."

⁴Paul said, "^(H)John baptized with the baptism of repentance, telling the people ^(I)to believe in Him who was coming after him, that is, in Jesus."

⁵When they heard this, they were ^(J)baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus.

⁶And when Paul had ^(K)laid his hands upon them, the Holy Spirit came on them, and they began ^(L)speaking with tongues and ^(M)prophesying.

⁷There were in all about twelve men.

⁸And he entered ^(N)the synagogue and continued speaking out boldly for three months, reasoning and persuading them ^(O)about the kingdom of God.

Link about stuff tounges exist vs. tounges have ceased.

tounges have ceased here

So anywho, today LOTS of homework to do. I went to evening service at church yesterday. It was really really good! Did you know that God has a special love for those he's chosen to be his children? His love for believers is far beyond unbelievers. It's crazy. Anyways Hmm I met these two really fobby girls (One was shanghaiesse and the other was from hong kong) on the ride to church. What I like about grace church is that you interact with girls and guys who are focused and interested in spiritual growth and all that good stuff. The attitudes are so different, it's really cool. People who truly desire the Lord and wish to obey him really, really impress me!

Steve and Glen are coming from norcal and visiting down here. Interesting. I saw Garden State today. Aside from the F-words and the sex it was a really, really good movie. Very funny and random at some points. There is this girl in it, Sam (played by Natalie Portman), whos personality is like totally random. Any ways it was a cool movie, a little strange but good.

Theory was really funny and informative today. Anyways I need to drink more water or something, because i am always feeling dehydrated. I've decided to leave my dorm room open today (makes the room feel bigger) this is actually very weird cause i never leave it open, but in a way this is good. It makes the room feel a little more relaxed.

Just listening to music, waiting for a dinner at De Neve Dining hall. It's my friend JayZ's birthday. And his name is actually pronounced that way.

Hedrick sucks. No breakfast/sack lunches were served. so I just went without eating until dinner... I've done it before but today it was especially crazy. like CRAZY- I was so incredibly hunger at 5:30. So after orchestra, me and my friend donald walked ALL the way back up to hedrick (a good 30 minutes) and stuffed ourselves.

Today is the first small group of winter quarter.

Listening to Arvil Lavigne. There are a lot of songs on the album that never were popular. there arent as catchy, but are still good songs. You know how people rag on on Arvil because she is fake and all, but truth be told, she's better than a lot, and "Let Go" is a really great pop/rockpop album. She was nominated for a bunch of grammies that year (didn't win any though. Nora Jones rightfully did). So yeahp. Later.
= edit:
I just realized that I complained in my entry. I'm sorry I shouln't have complained. As Christians we should rejoice in our circumstance, and not eating breakfast is very, very far from real hardship.

Anyways I read this great verse in 1 John 4: 19-20.

^19(A)We love, because He first loved us.

^20(B)If someone says, "I love God," and ^(C)hates his brother, he is a ^(D)liar; for ^(E)the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, ^(F)cannot love God whom he has not seen.

So i had an unexpected guest drop by, and at first i was feeling a little werid. Weird as in "This guy just shows up and I need to show hospitality." But I kept on remembering this verse... and I realized how wrong that attitude was, so I showed my friend hospitality and made sure he was set for the night (needed a place to stay). We MUST love others.

So today I was eating at the dinning commons and I spot this girl who I thought was really cute by the way she carried herself about. She was holding an umbrella in the crook of her arm and walking with her back REALLY straight... anyhow so I was watching her and was utterly fascinated for a brief moment.

And Edward, a students from Hong Kong, sees me totally zoned out, or something like zoned out. Edward is a really cool guy. Anyhow he started to prod at me, trying to figure out what was going on. So I reluctantly tell him that that "girl over there (oh you missed her)" was really cute. "Tiffany?!" says Edward. DOH he actually knew her. So he gets sort of excited and is thinking or something-basically trying to figure out a way for me to meet her. "Well I'm not very close with her but Charles knows her really well." DOh, then my korean fob friend Young comes by overhearing Edward. Young is like a korean gangster. Korean accent: "Whats going?" He has not clue whats going on but Edward stupidly says "Nothing!" Young figures it out. Ark.

The moral of the story. Watch what you say to people about girls or you may receive some undesired attention!

Woke up today at 7:00 to eat breakfast, read the bible, and go to church. The only thing was that breakfast on sundays isn't open until 9:30am. So Richard and I just read the Bible and starved. church was good, kinda slept through the first service (unfortunatly). Lunch with Grace people, as usual, then I went to Shoenburg to practice. Practice is NOT going as planned. I am becoming bored way to easily. I was so bored that I tried to take a nap in the practice room at one point. Maybe it had something to do with waking up at 7am... anyways. i need to find new ways to challenge myself, or I won't progress as fast as I want to.

Two member in my quartet have tendonitis! this is scary. Please pray for health.

I read my readings for theory, and didn't understand what I was reading. It's beyond me. Dear Lord, help!

Wet, wet, wet. Today was Saturday of Week 0, so it was pretty chill, I read some theory for about 40 mintues. I probably understand like 30% of what I read.

And I saw Bridget today and she said she is dying after the fist day of her theory class. I was like "What? The first day is just like assesment." But she insisted that it was hard. I think she's making a mountain outta a' molehill.

I had lunch and prayer meeting with freshmen from my Christian fellowship. That was cool. I think my roommate and I will watch a movie tonight. I want to read a bit though.

So today its raining cats and dogs outside. Such unpleasant weather. But it's not bad weather I suppose... Today is friday so there's Grace on Campus fellowship tonight at 7:00pm, that should be good. I had history lab today BAH

Richard is reading this. That dude.

oh ok. Sasha said I'm playing violin 1 for opera. Good or bad thing... maybe eventually bad, because it's going to take more time.

edit:
I saw Phantom of the Opera today (the 2004 movie version). I love it! Grace fellowship was fine. I know a lot more freshman now.

Today was my first day of class for winter quarter 2005. It had to be one of the most tiring days ever. I woke up at 7:00 in order to eat and head to practice at Shoenburg at 8:00. I had a lesson at 10:00, followed by classes back to back until orch at 3:00. We're playing in an opera, and the music is good, but repetitious and fairly boring (it's Mozart). It's genius, but the orchestra part is not the greatest fun to play. So man I was so tired... I slept pretty bad the night before. So many things on my mind.

And today I wore my black shoes (pretty much boots), and my feet HURT after walking up the hill to Hedrick! I felt as though I was a girl in those boots with the really high heels. I'm sure I didn't hurt that bad because my shoes weren't tight, just uncomfortable walking long distances in. Uphill especially. Well I'm going to probably read a book, and/or draw now.

Well I just made a cool bible verse artwork thing today. It's made of a lot of torn up UCLA magazine. its very red and colorful, and in the middle it has Ephesians 4:29-30. It says to say only a word that encourages people at that moment.

Looking back a year ago, I was writing about Leedah, and Angie from church, who is a girl scout:


PiN******S07 (10:01:00 PM): yuP
PiN******S07 (10:01:18 PM): do U want kookiEs

HA HA i still think that is so funny! Last January I was preparing for LA auditions, and was freaking out. hahaha. I was practicing 3 hours, my "maximum." hahaha.

Asking God for confirmation is confusing. Well God, reveal your will in your time.

so I'm bacak at UCLA now! It's actually good to be back here. Break was pretty fun, although it seemed a little rushed at points, and really lazy at others. But it was a needed break. Finals were tough. And my grades were fine, too, praise the Lord.

Worrying, thinking, praying. There's nothing wrong with thinking, but were not suppose to worry. We're to cast our anxieties on the Lord because he cares for us.

God use me for your purposes!

Sketch Diary:

So I found this wonderful sketch diary that I started using. Basically, I can draw whatever I want in it. So I'm using it as a picture/diary/sketchpad right now, and it's great fun! I think it's a wonderful gift idea for people. Like me. Just kidding, for anyone!!

So currently I have this issue, to make this journal public or not? the only reason I don't openly advertise this blog is because sometimes I put sensative stuff about people... and I don't want to offend them. Such as "koreans...yeah..., fuck 'em." Not that I said that myself. Still, I could be shot by some wannabe 15 year old korean gangsters whose parents work at IBM, or even worse... Apple. Tearing off my cheap clothes, leaving me tattered and torn to chill in the rain. They would leave me dying as they exit, joking in their bay area "Ghetto talk."

"Mai, dAt Lil AZn-Chinkzo wUz being unl33t, an HEbee Gghetz0!1!1! Wut a Toafu Munstar. I hopp he diys. He ha noonie noOnie noo."

But yeah, basically, because I want the freedom to write what I want without scaring too many people. Or should I not care? Maybe I shouldn't. Or maybe I should stop saying discouraging jokes.

I'm bringing my scanner to school so can post all my drawings and comics here! wouldnt' that be cool. So for those of you who read this, you would actually get to see my random drawings, taken from the very sketch diary I mentioned earlier! You fortunate person, you.

Well, I'd best be off pracking (new term for practicing). there are a lot of scales, chords, and etudes to screw with.

WHAAA I got a shirt at old navy today that says "Bakersfield Stallions"! Even better is that it was under 3 bucks. If you didn't know already, I like stallions. And something else I found out today... I think God is answering my prayer. Or has. Hard to explain.

connemera pony

caspian

golden american saddlebred

mustang!

"The Mustang is a feral horse found now in the western United States. The name Mustang comes from the Spanish word mesteño or monstenco meaning wild or stray. Originally these were Spanish horses or their descendants but over the years they became a mix of numerous breeds. These were the horses which changed the lives of the Native Americans living in or near the Great Plains. As European settlers came farther west they brought their horses with them. Some were lost to Indian raids, others were freed as wild stallions tore down fences to add the tame mares tn his herd or tame horse escaped from settlers as the original horses had escaped from the Spanish. Draft breeding was among the horses which added to the Mustang herds. Also the Indians bartered and captured horses between tribes, making the distribution more complete."

all kinds of breeds of horses and information here

CUTE!

God has been showing me a lot of wonderful things. Thank you God.

for my birthday i would like.

a blank (nice) journal
a book with a lot of information on horses

as feminine and weird as all that sounds it's not really if i explain it to you. I want a journal to write in. OK. And I want to learn what horses are and what they do. OK.

thank you very much.